What to do?

 I had a super negative post ready for last week. It was a bad week. Emotionally, eating wise, workouts, nothing was going according to plan. My stress level was through the roof.

And I was unable to get logged in to post that entry. I took it as a sign to put the negativity away, move on, and keep going.

I haven't seen a scale in weeks. It still lingers in the back of my mind. But it has gotten easier. I focus on how my clothes fit and how I feel.

I am meeting with a nutritionist on Monday. I'm nervous and excited.

The math is that if you eat less than you need, you lose weight. I do that consistently, but there seems to be no change (going from my weigh every day numbers). I worry that I will have to give up the carbs I love oh so much (even though I restrict them already), or that there is something chemically wrong with me. My biggest fear by far, however, is that this man who I have never met will look at my food journal, look at me, and call me a liar. That if this is truly what I eat, and how I workout, then I should not be XXX pounds.

In other news I am doing a 5 mile run in just over a week. And Broad Street (10 miles) is in 2 months. I am hoping that my training this year will actually pay off.

I'm also making it a priority to try and get to some Bikram classes again. I think the sweat and the stretch will do me good.

It is hard to get up every day and weigh and measure all my food, plan out every bite, and manage every detail. Especially with the thought that it is all for naught, that the scale won't move. It makes me mad, frustrated, sad, and ready to give up. But I haven't, I will continue to fight for another week.

Surviving Superbowl Sunday

So I have done pretty well the last few days without my scale. I still daydream about weighing myself. But in the long run I think this is the best thing for my sanity. The past few days have been actually relaxing, we've gone out to eat and I make healthy choices, knowing I deserve something nice and to not be deprived constantly. 

Today, however, is Superbowl Sunday.  And the team that I love with all my heart, the New England Patriots, are playing. Today I will still go to the gym, but I am going to relax and enjoy the game without obsessing about calories. I have a fun menu planned of some "healthy" game day alternatives (Shh, don't tell my boyfriend) and I am making things that are pre-portioned to help prevent over eating. I am excited for a fun and relatively guilt-free Sunday! 

Let's just hope the Pats bring home the win! :)

Once the week gets started I'm sure that I may start wishing I had a scale again, although I hope the more time that goes by the more I will grow less attached. I'll be weighing in again on March 1st. Which is not too terribly far away. I have so many fun things going on between now and then, I'm hoping it will just be here before I know it. 

My knee is feeling better after some pain in the middle of last week. I had a good run on Saturday morning and I really feel like doing more strength training is really helping. I'm noticing more definition in my arms and shoulders, which is a nice thing to see!