Motivation and Project no-scale day 5

So I made it through the weekend. I made a conscious effort to focus on being happy and healthy and not worrying about the scale. Granted, Friday night I tried to get on a scale at Ikea in the bathroom section and my boyfriend rammed me with a shopping cart to stop me. He's the best.

Yesterday started a new week and I won't lie, I really wanted my scale again. I wanted to know what "damage" I did over the weekend and how hard I would have to push myself this week to make up for it. It is a weird feeling to not know. I feel like I've lost, for no other reason than my clothes seem to be fitting better. Maybe it is all mental? Honestly, I can't wait for Thursday to weigh in. Can't come soon enough.

In other news, I found this idea on Pinterest and thought it would be a nice change from obsessing over the scale. In the jar on the right are 50 pebbles. Each pebble represents 1lb. I used my last weigh-in from last week to decide how many stones to put in the jar. After my weigh in Thursday I will either move stones over to the "PoundsLost" jar (*crosses fingers*) or add more stones to the "Pounds To Go" jar. I'm hoping it will be a fun and motivational way to watch these last 50 lbs come off.

Breaking the Chain - Day 2

I have never felt so totally lost. Which is both surprising and scary. Waking up this morning and not having a scale to step on was terrible. All I could think about is what that number would have been if I had had a scale to step on, which, I know, is exactly the reason why I DON'T have one right now.

What I can hope for is that today and maybe tomorrow will be awful but then the feeling will ease. As bad as I feel right now, my hope is that by this time next week I won't need to get on a scale every day or analyze the number to death.

1 morning down, 6 to go.

Breaking the Chain

So I missed a little time since my last update, but I promised to stick with this blog, so here we go.

My struggles with my weight and the similar struggles with food have always been difficult. I don’t really ever remember a time where I wasn’t concerned about what I was eating or what I weighed (or what I looked like to others).

Over the last 2 years as I threw myself fully into a quest for health and weight loss, I came to learn so much about nutrition, fitness, and myself. I KNOW the right things to eat, I KNOW the right things to do, or at least I do in theory.

The last 6 months have been incredibly difficult. I have lost, regained and struggled over the same 10 pounds. It is a cycle that I cannot seem to break. It is infuriating to me that I am still in this pattern.

I developed a habit, after I began this journey, of weighing myself every morning, no matter what. I felt in control this way. I turned to the scale for validation. In my mind, I justified this by thinking that it would be easier to track overall weekly averages than just 1 weekly weigh in. My obsessive compulsive, anal-neurotic tendencies took over.

Today is Thursday Jan. 26^th, 2012. This morning I turned over my scale to a trusted friend. I will not weigh myself for the next 7 days.

I began to notice that even if I had a great day of healthy eating and awesome workouts, if the number on the scale the next morning was not what I wanted to see, I would let it ruin my mood, my motivation and I would be ready to quit. So, in an effort to break the chain holding me to my scale, it was surrendered for the greater good. I am going to take the next 7 days to focus on healthy eating, healthy moving, and a healthy mind.

Sometimes I become so focused on where I want to be, that I forget how far I have come. I get bogged down in tiny numbers week to week, losing sight of the big picture. I am more than halfway to my goal and I tend to brush that off as not important enough since I’m not at my goal yet.

It will be a challenge to go without that daily number to tell me how I’m doing. What I hope to learn and find is that I determine how I am doing and how I feel, not the scale. I am not a number on the scale and the number on the scale is not who I am.

The week 2 slump

I haven’t seen any movement on the scale since my weigh-in Saturday. I was starting to get a little disappointed after such a great week last week, until a thought occurred to me. It’s the week 2 slump. I used to LOVE watching the Biggest Loser on NBC. And every season contestants would have HUGE losses the first week at the Ranch, but without fail every season, week 2 would bring little to no results, sometimes even a gain! It was something they began to highlight in each season. How could they get past that week 2 slump?

What helped ease my disappointment today was thinking about how far those contestants went after that week 2 slump. I don’t necessarily agree with how the Biggest Loser gets people to lose the weight, but it seems to fit my situation now. I am hopeful that after this week the scale will catch up with me and I’ll begin seeing a drop again.

This week is going well, still trying to keep my veggie and protein intake high, but I’ve started making smoothies for breakfast as a switch from my weeks of egg whites I was doing previously. Protein powder, greek yogurt, almond milk and some frozen berries make for a great breakfast! But the cravings for carbs are still a daily struggle. I find myself daydreaming about bagels, bread, toast, and rolls. I am trying to limit my carb intake until I start seeing more progress on the scale, but that temptation is high. I wish they didn’t taste so good.

When I was living in Minnesota I tried the Carb Addicts diet. This program restricts the amount of carbs you eat during the day, except for one 60-minute meal when you can eat as many carbs as you want. I lost 17lbs on that, but looking back I was only consuming about 800 calories a day. Today I know that is nowhere near enough. I’ve been thinking about this in comparison to the slow-carb and 4 hour body diet programs that include a cheat day to spike metabolism. I may do some more research into how to make the Carb Addicts diet fit my caloric needs (more veggies and protein?) and then I would still be able to indulge in a carb frenzy for a glorious 60-minutes a day. This is worth the time to at least investigate.  

I am looking forward to weighing in again on Saturday; fingers are crossed for at least a 1lb drop to keep on target for my August goal.

Taken from my favorite subreddit, “LoseIt” comes this week’s mantra:

"Do not let discouragement block your view of your success”

The Goal

So after doing the Women's Health "Look Better Naked" 2 day cleanse, followed by 1 day of a modified cleanse (I added in dairy and nuts), I am down 7lbs! This was just the kick start I needed to start my new year off right.

The SO and I are joining the community center this afternoon. I can't wait to start working out in a new environment! I love the gym at work. The convenience is unbeatable. But a new gym will be a fresh start I think I need.

This morning I weighed in at 206lbs. There are 33 weeks until my birthday. My goal is going to be to lose at least 1lb a week between now and then, though I'll still aim for 1.5. This will put me very, very close to my original goal weight of 160.

I think even though I gained a bit in my "sabbatical" period, I am glad I took that mental break. I am more motivated now than I have been in a while. I am ready to finally shed the last of the weight that has been controlling my life for too long.

Game on!

New Year, New Commitments

It is hard to believe that it is 2012. I feel like just yesterday I was packing my car and moving to Philadelphia to start my adult life. A new city, a new job, living on my own, it was truly a fresh start. When I moved to Philadelphia in March 2009, I weighed 265 pounds. By August 2010, I was down to 199. It has been a tough road, but one I am committed to staying on, no matter how rough it gets. As this New Year begins instead of setting wild or unrealistic goals, my resolution is to commit to this blog. To post something at least once a week, no matter how crazy my schedule gets.

Since moving to Philly, I have taken on my weight and health issues, met and recently moved in with the love of my life, went back to school, and continue to work a full time job. It has been nearly 3 years of wonderful new experiences, along with some sad and troubling times. When I stepped on the scale on New Years Eve, I was 212lbs. This was a gain of 21 pounds from my lowest weight. Of course this was not what I wanted to see, no one likes to see the numbers moving back up. Instead of getting upset, I tried to be positive. In the last 6 weeks I was hit with a lot of stress and of course there were the holidays. I was also taking a sabbatical from the gym to prevent burn out. I’ve lost 75 pounds. As much as losing this same 21 will suck, I can do it.

In addition to getting back into the gym at work, my boyfriend and I will be joining the local Salvation Army community center. It is new and has state of the art equipment, a pool, and group classes. A change of environment and scenery will hopefully add to my motivation.

I’ll be signing up for the Broad Street 10 mile run again this year, so I am preparing to start my training now. No waiting. My only other resolution for 2012 would be to beat my time from last year.

So here’s to a happy, healthy, and wonderful 2012!