This summer has been full of firsts. Starting grad school, moving in with my boyfriend, my longest race. And as the summer ends and we move into fall it is nice to know that no matter how many daily or weekly struggles pop up, things are good, and I am blessed.
The scale and I have not been friends lately. It is discouraging but also I have found myself to be less bothered by the numbers than I used to be. That number shouldn't, doesn't, won't define me. I maintain a healthy diet, work out for 30-60 minutes 5 days a week, plus walking to and from work everyday. I have nothing to be ashamed of, no reason to feel like a failure.
As those of you who know me can attest to, I stress and worry about EVERYTHING, to a ridiculous level. Some very special people who are close to me have been helping me to calm down, to not get so caught up in things that are out of my control. I am still a very worrisome person, but I am starting to see small changes, including in how I deal with the number on the scale in the morning.
Am I happy that I'm still at 190lbs and not at 185? Not really. But I'm not 200, or 225, or 265. So that is something to be grateful for. My only hope is that as I continue to maintain healthy habits and set new goals for myself, that the last 30lbs I wanted to lose will come off.
For now I am going to continue being happy and enjoy my new healthy life.
Happy September! :)
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