Speedbumps

It has been a few weeks since my last post, but there have been lots of things going on here. First off we had my birthday, which was smashing, and probably my best birthday yet. :) Thanks to everyone who helped make it that way! Then last Tuesday I tripped up the stairs and smashed my kneecap pretty badly. It was swollen and sore for the week, so of course I stayed off of it, which meant staying out of the gym. I went 11 days without setting foot in a gym, and it was definitely the hardest thing I've done in recent memory. The realization of how dependent I have become on the fitness center really hit me after a few days away.

So now its Wednesday September 1st. A new month and halfway through my first week back at the gym. Since there have been a number of speedbumps thrown out me in the last few weeks, I thought it would make a good blog topic.

I've been fairly lucky in the fact that I am incredibly clumsy, and this is the first "injury" I've had since I began working out with fervor. I wasn't entirely prepared to modify my lifestyle to accomodate for the injury. Meaning, I kept eating my usual diet without taking into consideration the lack of movement. I definitely felt more sluggish, and should have kept a closer eye on what I was putting in my mouth.

I only re-gained 2 pounds, which obviously was not the direction I wanted to see the scale move. However, given how many times I ate out, and all the birthday related goodies that were consumed, I will not gripe over 2 pounds.

I think that in the long run the week away from the gym was a good thing. I came back this week with a new intensity, and a major bonfire under my butt. Today I ran my fastest yet, 2 miles in under 20 minutes. When I started on the treadmill it felt so awkward and I was miserable. I was barely a half mile in to my run and I was ready to quit. How did I get through it and last for 2 miles? Mind games. I was running at a 5.6mph pace and said to myself if I could make it to the mile mark I would let myself stop. When I got to the half mile mark, I was feeling a little stronger, and thought if I bumped my speed I could reach the mile mark faster. So I did. I bumped to a 5.8, then a 6.0 and finally a 6.4. I had never lasted more than a tenth of a mile at that speed. So I said to myself, do it for a tenth and stop. And I didn't stop. I kept saying "just one more tenth, you can do one more tenth" until I was at 1.5 miles done and was feeling on top of the world. So much so that I wanted to keep bumping my speed up until I hit 2 miles. I am SO glad I didn't give up, and now I have one more moment to keep in my mind as motivation when I think I can't do any more.

As many of you know, I have a horrible guilt complex, and frequently associate guilt with my eating. I am trying my hardest to NOT focus on the last few weeks, because the past is in the past, and I can't change it now. All I can do is recognize what led me to the decisions I made, and acknowledge that I know how to avoid those decisions in the future. It is easier said than done, but I have the tools to make it stick. That is what I remind myself every day.

Weight loss is a battle, a war, a struggle, a never-ending, uphill-in-the-snow-both-ways trek. But when you can accept that you have the power and the tools to make small changes each day, soon you will feel like you are Xena, Buffy, Wonder Woman and the pink power ranger all rolled into one, ready and armed to fight that battle another day.

Enough sounding like a crazy preacher for today. By putting those self-motivational thoughts down on virtual paper, I hope that they can become a mantra, something to turn to when I don't feel like I can go on another day. And hopefully for some of you reading this, it will do the same for you.

If you have questions or comments for me about any of these issues, please feel free to leave them, or to email/facebook me, I'm not a professional but a friend recently reminded me that its easiest to talk about these issues with people who have been there, and who understand where you are coming from.

As always, thanks for stopping by and thanks for reading!