Birthday Photo Shoot - Biggest Loser Style

The biggest pair of pants from my past. They are 6 sizes bigger than what I am wearing currently. (The overly wide leg makes them look bigger than they really are, sort of)

This is me wearing my bridesmaids dress from the wedding from August 2009. It is also 6 sizes too big now. I could put it on over my new dress with plenty of room to spare!

Taking on the Future

Now that my birthday has officially come and gone, it is really sinking in how far I have come in the last year. It still feels weird to talk about going to the gym, given my past avoidance of all things related to exercise!

My current "program" that I follow is pretty basic. I use the Barnes and Noble DietMinder Food and Fitness Journal to track my calories and workouts. I've been using it since February, at the recommendation of one of my best friends. I have tried various free websites that allow you to keep a food journal online, but I feel more in control and just better overall doing it the old fashioned way with a pen or pencil. I go to the gym every day during the week, and try to work out at least 1 day on the weekend, giving myself 1 day off. Sometimes, of course, things happen and I don't do full workouts on the weekends. But most of the time I try.

Over the last year my workout routine has changed a few times. When I first joined the gym I only used the recumbent bike. After a few months I talked with Jess (one of the Fitness Specialists at the gym) and she got me set up to use some of the weight training machines. After a few months I switched to the elliptical and started going to the Dance Fusion group exercise class. By Christmas I was taking Step Interval classes and doing more workouts with the girls at the gym for strength training.

In February, I came in to work out and Jess said to me, "Today you are going to run". And she stuck me on a treadmill and I ran. It was awful at first. AWFUL. I will do a separate post about running and how I got started, but for this post we will leave it at that. It is still not my favorite thing to do, but its the best workout and I know it works.

Here is a rundown of my current program I follow during the week....
Mondays - 45 minute Step Interval class with weights, sometimes a run after work
Tuesday - 45 minutes Sets and Reps Strength training class, run
Wednesdays - either 30 or 45 min spin class or run, depending and 30 mins yoga
Thursdays- leg/core focus for 30 mins, 30 min step class
Fridays - 30 min kickboxing,  20 min core class or 30 mins of core/arm work
Saturday - run
Sunday - yoga

Like anything, my program isn't set in stone, but its the basic program I'm following. Some days I don't run, sometimes I go to the gym 3 times a day instead of 1. It really depends on the day, but I try to stay consistent. Now that I'm past the halfway mark to my goal, we've been talking about upping the strength training to work on my flabby skin and getting things toned up. So I'm sure this will change what I do slightly.

Next time I will focus more on the "diet" portion of my life now, and how that has changed pretty drastically from how I used to feel about eating. I definitely don't feel like I'm on a diet, which is something I'm still adjusting to as the weight continues to come off.

Hope all my readers had a great weekend, and as always, thanks for taking the time to read! :)

The Turn-Around

This post I am going to focus on how things started to change, and my first "success" at weight loss. This is going to be a longer post, and I apologize. But after this the back story will be complete and the posts that follow will be shorter... :) I promise!

In the Fall of 2008 I was living out in Minnesota, going to law school, and had really not done any type of exercise in months. Around Halloween, my mom sent me a care package and tucked inside was a small book that had been my Grandmother's at some point. It was called the Carbohydrate Addicts Diet - by Drs Rachael and Richard Heller. At first I was annoyed that she would send me yet another weight loss book, but I figured I loved my carbs and maybe the book would have something to offer.

I stayed up and read the ENTIRE book in one night. I wasn't planning on it, but as I started reading it, it kept saying to me "THIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN FOR YOU!". And I couldn't put it down.

The basic premise is that some bodies process carbs differently, and you can control/fix it by arranging how/when you eat carbs. Basic plan is to eat no carbs and no sugars at breakfast or lunch, no snacking, and then dinner you can eat carbs and pretty much as much as you want, as long as you keep your dinner time to under 60 minutes. It sounds kooky, but I figured what the hell. I had done Atkins/South Beach, I could go no carb again, and the idea of being able to eat bread, potatoes or pasta at dinner excited me.

I lost 17 pounds between Halloween and finals. It was the most I had ever lost in any of my attempts. I was sold on the program and had pretty good success following it and not cheating. (Hey, no one is perfect)

My grandmother passed away that December, and I went home for break, and that is when things started to fall apart. I was not really happy in Minnesota, was depressed and grieving the loss of my Gram, and dreading pretty much everything. Needless to say worrying about what I was eating and planning out my meals went out the window. I put all the weight I had lost back on, and then some. And then I got a phone call....

I received a job offer from the Department of Veterans Affairs the week before I was supposed to fly back to law school. I turned it down at first, but a few weeks into being back in Minnesota I decided to take the offer. So my parents came and packed me up and back east I moved. When I started at the VA in March 2009, I went back on Carb Addicts and lost around 10 pounds. That July I started to go walking at night around my neighborhood, and kept that routine going most of the summer. By a friends wedding in August I was down about 20 pounds and was feeling really good.

In September of 2009, I was sitting outside the VA on break with some co-workers, 2 of whom were talking about the multiple gyms they go to, and different workouts they do. And I remember thinking to myself that if these girls can have multiple gym memberships, then I could have ONE.

Now, here is where I really am lucky. The VA has a fitness center on site, and it was $20 for a LIFETIME membership (as long as I'm working there, anyway). So I went down and signed up. At first, I was afraid to do anything but the recumbent bike. But I did it every day. Religiously. And I felt great. I had never gone to the gym so consistently ever. October 2009 my name made it onto the bulletin board of "15 a month" - the names of the members who came 15 times the previous month! I honestly had never been more proud of myself.

Around Christmas I started working with the 2 girls that work at the fitness center on different workout programs, and also an eating plan. Turns out on the Carb Addicts plan I was eating somewhere between 700-900 calories a day. Which, turns out, is BAD. Really, really BAD. So we started to work on that, and also increasing my workouts. Sure enough, the weight started to melt off. So much so that by Thanksgiving when my family came to see me, they were suprised at how "thin" I had gotten! It was a great feeling.

This is the plan that I follow still almost a year later... I go to the gym at work every day. And I keep a food journal of what I eat, and make sure I stay as close to my target calorie intake as possible (right now about 1800 a day with my workout schedule). I also use a pedometer daily, and wear a heart rate monitor. But these are gadgets and tools I will discuss in a later post.

Next week expect a post about the first time I ran, and the different tools I use to help keep myself on track.

As always, thanks for reading! :)

Milestone! :)

Saturday, August 7th at 5:16 am

For the first time in my "adult" life, and I think for the first time in over a decade, there is a lovely number "1" on the scale as the first number!

I barely squeeked it in under the line, but I still have 6 days until my birthday to make sure I stay under to meet my original goal. On 4th of July weekend last year (2009) I set the goal that I would be under 200lbs by my 25th birthday. The incentive being that if I accomplished the goal, I would get my next tattoo.

I guess now its time to start planning my next trip to get ink done!

Many Thanks

Thanks to everyone who has checked out my blog so far. Your support and kindness mean a lot to me. I may be updating more frequently for now, but hope to keep it to weekly posts. Feel free to leave me comments or questions... I'll do my best to answer honestly and openly. :)

Thanks again!

Like Any Good Roller Coaster, There are Ups and Downs, Twists and Turns

I wasn't born fat, and I didn't magically get fat overnight. In turn, I also didn't start losing weight in one magical day either. It has been, like for most people, a lifetime struggle.

There were, at first, the usual pokes and prods from my parents, gym teachers, doctors, to move more, eat less. Simple enough. I would try, I would cheat, I would fail, I would retreat. Through high school this was a pretty standard cycle for me. I would try walking with mom, would last one or two laps around the track, feign an injury, a pain, anything, to stop. But I would never go back and finish.

My Junior year of high school, I was 16. My mom and I joined weight watchers. Anyone who knows me knows that I love having a plan. Whether someone gives me a plan to follow, or I make it for myself. I love having a plan and being organized. So I figured WW would be the golden solution I had been longing for. I would follow the plan, go to meetings, get lots of support, and become a success story. When in reality, I (most of the time) followed the plan, (sometimes) went to meetings, still got lots of support, but considered myself yet again a failure. My mom had great success on the program, and I gained weight. The "pressure" I thought I felt of being judged by others waiting in line to weigh in made me even more uncomfortable.

As a Senior, my mom and I joined Curves. Yet again, I became foolishly optomistic that THIS would be my miracle fix. I would work out 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week, watch what I ate, get weighed and measured monthly, and become a success. I started strong, I was gung ho about making my workouts. After a while, I started to lose that motivation. Instead of pushing onward, I started to babysit for the owner, and eventually stopped working out altogether and started working as a part time assistant for Curves. Neither the workout nor the job was a success.

After I graduated high school I decided to try the South Beach Diet. Low/no carbs, low/no sugar, high fat and protein. The first month was great. It was the first time I felt like I was winning a losing battle. I lost about 10-15lbs and felt pretty happy with how things were going. The problem was I would be leaving for college at the end of the summer, and maintaining a limiting food diet as a Freshman on a college campus seemed overwhelming to say the least. I lasted about 2 weeks before the never ending buffet that is college eating took its hold on me, and South Beach became a "I almost succeeded" story of my past.

As I worked my way through college I became involved in numerous extra curricular groups. These allowed me to meet new people, travel, and of course, eat. Pizza at Poli Sci meetings, Pizza with forensics, Drinks with friends. It never stopped, and I didn't feel a need to control it.

My freshman year I didn't gain much weight, to my surprise. But living on campus, with no car, at a University built into the side of a really big hill meant I walked and got more exercise than I realized. As I got further along, I got more rides, got my own car, and the more we ate out, got take out, and drank.

I took pilates my Sophomore year at Bloom, that lasted about a month. My Senior year I had to tackle what I had been putting off my whole time there, gym credits. To graduate I would need 2 gym classes. I was TERRIFIED. How was I going to get out of this? I was petrified of making an ass out of myself, I wasn't so in the clouds that I didn't realize how out of shape I was. I ended up taking Volleyball (Think: Daria) and Folk Dance, which I actually ended up really enjoying.

I signed up to do a breast cancer 5k with my roommates my senior year. I was 21 years old, and I quit halfway through and went home. And we were WALKING. Which is what makes the fact that I can now RUN a 5K in 31 minutes pretty shocking, especially to myself.

My doctors of course pushed me even harder as the weight kept piling on. My GP even suggested I quit my job at the Car Dealership to work road construction, just to get me on my feet and off my ass! My ObGyn had me trying different medications, and I was pushing him for some wonder drug that would fix what was "wrong" with me. It got to the point where they even suggested  I start considering Gastric Bypass.

I could list a thousand reasons or more as to why none of the attempts I made to lose the weight worked. My mother, god bless her, has been a constant positive force. Always offering ideas and suggestions in a way that left me secretly embarrassed that I couldn't be a success for her (or for myself), but still letting me know that she would always be there to push me. Looking back now, all I can think is that it just wasn't the right time, and I wasn't ready to make that change for myself.

I had enough other insecurity and low self esteem issues that keeping the weight on was just another layer I could use to keep people away. No one would notice me, therefore no one could hurt me.

I've made this one pretty long and opened up some pretty old wounds. The next post I will talk about the first real "success" I had on a weight loss program (The Carb Addicts Diet) and how that led me down the path to the healthy lifestyle I am leading today.

As always, thanks for reading!